The Heart Attack Grill

There is a magical place in Las Vegas, NV where you must wear a hospital gown while eating bypass burgers, smoking unfiltered cigarrettes, and drinking butterfat milkshakes.  If you tip the scales past 350 lbs, your meal is free, brought to you by sexy nurses and surgeons.  Excess and obesity and poor heart health and the American Way of not giving a flying fuck are all celebrated like the delicious things they are.  This place pulls no punches and rolls around in its absurdity like a pig in a particularly messy pen.  This place is the Heart Attack Grill, famous at the time of my visit, not only for the aforementioned highlights, but also as the site of an actual patron or two’s heart attack.  I found it to be equal parts brilliant, appalling, and enticing, which made for an enjoyable shoot full of cognitive dissonance.

This is the owner, Jon Basso. Don’t walk into his restaurant without a hospital gown.  You will be kicked out.

Mmmmmmm grease.

Mmmmmmmm more grease. Lard fries.

A quadruple bypass.  People actually manage to finish these. I’m not sure in which extra pouch organ they’re storing the food though. I don’t think I have one.

Smokey had a heart attack not too long before I took this picture. He said it was what doctors referred to as a “widowmaker.”  His first food destination upon leaving the hospital was the Heart Attack Grill.  Rock on, Smokey.

Extra wide for patrons who finish multiple bypass burgers.

Discarded gowns in the back.

Cash only. The receipt refers to the sales tax as “Obama’s Cut.”

3 thoughts on “The Heart Attack Grill

  1. Melissa, you’ve got to tell us what you thought of the burgers. As a local to No. VA, a comparison to Five Guys or Ray’s Hell Burgers would make for a good point of reference.

  2. I actually didn’t eat the burgers. Everything looked and smelled pretty good, but I knew I was going to be in LA by the end of the week and consuming the greatest burger known to man. Umami Burger. I’m a pretty huge Five Guys and Ray’s Hellburger fan though. We’re lucky to have them here.

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